New Year, Same Struggle and a Better Way Forward
New year. New plans. New hope. New resolutions.
And then it quickly fades.
It happens to me and I know it happens to many of you.
Now I realized why last year I couldn’t achieve my New Year’s resolution.
Because I was focused on the wrong thing; it was too blurry!
Whether that is the reason or I procrastinate, or because life gets in the way, or because other priorities take over
doesn’t really matter. What does matter is this: every day still requires doing things that are practical, valuable,
and worth doing.
When Time Becomes Flexible – and Focus Becomes Harder
When I was younger, daily tasks were easy to manage. There was a structure imposed by work, family, and deadlines.
Now, there’s less to do – and most of it has no real time pressure. Ironically, that makes things harder.
Tasks that once required no thought now require focus. Not because they’re difficult, but because they demand attention.
And attention is easier to lose than we’d like to admit.
Some things still run on autopilot: waking up, going to the washroom, morning coffee, lunch. But the rest – shopping,
taking out the garbage, gardening, small errands – float around the day with no real anchor.
Why Some Resolutions Are Easy – and Most Are Not
Add a New Year’s resolution to this mix.
If it’s a one-time event – traveling to Europe, seeing your favorite band – it’s easy. The schedule is given, it costs
money and it has a strong motivational pull or excitement built in. You just do it.
But the resolutions that matter most? The free ones. The daily ones.
The ones that are good for you only if you do them regularly.
Those require structure. They must be fitted into your day.
Ideally, you set a fixed time and a clear time frame.
If you can do that and stick to it, you’re disciplined, organized, and strong-willed.
Good for you. Truly. For the rest of us, that’s where things fall apart.
Procrastination Isn’t a Medical Condition
Setting the plan is easy. Living it is not.
We usually call this procrastination. There’s no medical diagnosis for it – at least not yet.
Psychology offers other terms: self-sabotage, distraction, self-defeating behavior.
Greek philosophers had a word for it 2,400 years ago: akrasia – knowing what you should do and not doing it anyway.
It would be easy to hide behind labels. Don’t.
So, What Actually Works?
Setting a daily schedule – even if only a few things are fixed – is helpful. I use alarms. When the alarm goes off,
I stop what I’m doing and do what I planned.
No negotiation.
If switching tasks is hard, you have to train yourself to disengage consciously. That takes effort.
Here’s the simple rule I use:
If I have time and energy for something mostly useless, then I also have time and energy for something I previously
decided in a clear moment and was worth scheduling.
When the time arrives, stop. Do something that makes you stand up and move.
Change location. Make coffee. Water plants. Walk outside.
Movement breaks inertia.
Break the Cycle – Don’t Analyze It
That stuck moment – the one where you know what you should do but can’t start – that’s the cycle.
Break it. Interrupt it. Disconnect. Detach. Severe it. Call it whatever you want.
Just don’t think about it. Get up and move.
The Real Work: Turning Action Into Habit
Doing it once is easy. Doing it repeatedly is the work.
To build a habit, you must not skip – even once – for at least 30 consecutive days. Miss a day?
Start again from day one. No excuses. No bargaining.
That’s not punishment. That’s how habits are built.
In summary:
- You want to start a new activity and are struggling to do so
- You must disengage from old habits by breaking the existing cycle
- Set a permanent time (or times) during the day for the new activity
- You must adhere to your decision
- Use distraction (for example, loud alarms) and motion (physical activity)
- At that moment, do something completely different (walk the dog, exercise, make coffee, etc.)
·
Then, when you feel confident enough, transition directly into your chosen new activity
- Do this consistently for 30 days to build a new habit
- If you break the cycle, start again
This method works for starting new habits and breaking old ones.
If you’ve succeeded, congratulations.
If not, don’t do it alone again. Ask someone at home or a friend to nudge you. Have someone call you.
Promise someone else you’ll do it. I know I’m more committed when someone else is counting on me.
At this stage of life, discipline is about structure, honesty, and showing up – for yourself.
Start now. Your future self is watching.
